If Only She Knew
by Christa Morgan
Summary: Set during 'Penelope' from Derek's point of view. AUish.


**Disclaimer: **As always, I will announce that I have NEVER claimed, nor will I EVER claim, to have owned Criminal Minds or the lovely characters that are in it. That is the work of the writers (please come off of strike) and the brillaint actors and actresses.

Oneshot based during 'Penelope', Derek telling how he was feeling while what was going on.

* * *

I sat there, a million things running through my head. Why did we get in that fight? Penelope and I, it was something we just didn't do. I love her, I do. Yet, I don't think I showed it much considering she was shouting at me. Then, she went on that date. With somebody she doesn't even know. I must admit, I was rather jealous. But, if I showed that, I don't think the BAU, or anybody for that matter, would look at me the same.

When my cell phone rang, I ignored it. My mind was not in the mood to speak to anybody right now. It continued ringing, I just let it ring. When it stopped ringing, I looked at the screen. Four voice messages. A case wouldn't be that important where all four of my comrades would call me, one after another, would it?

I sighed, then listened to the messages.

_"Derek, you really need to call me. I...just call me. I can't explain here." _That was from Emily. Seemed important...

_"Morgan, pick up the phone, it's Hotch. Something has come up. Damn it, Morgan." _Now, I was worried.

_"Derek, its JJ," _she sounded like she was crying. _"Please, please call one of us. Don't ignore us."_

_"Its Reid, Derek, just call us for god's sake."_

I blinked. Penelope hadn't called me. And JJ was crying. Penelope was her best friend. Did this mean . . . oh god. I quickly gathered my jacket and keys, picking up my cell phone and calling JJ, while getting in my car. "Where are you?"

"Derek?"

"Yes; where the hell are you? Whats wrong with Penelope?"

"I...We're at the hospital." I could hear the fear in JJ's voice and I hung up, tossing the phone on the seat next to me and driving as quick as I could to the hospital. I must admit that I drove through at least two red lights. I was too inflamed with fear and worry that I didn't pay attention to anything around me.

Once I got to the hospital, JJ was immedietely in my arms. I actually needed the support now, because I knew something was wrong with my baby girl.

"What...Is Penelope okay?"

Hotch sighed, "A...a neighbor found her, lying on her front porch," he said, not looking into my eyes. "She was shot."

I blinked a few tears away. "Why...why didn't they call me? I'm her emergency contact."

"They _did_ call you," Reid spoke up.

"But-" I was interupted as I heard a doctor call, "Penelope Garcia," and I looked over to the doctor.

"Is Penelope okay? Please tell me she's okay." I was nearer to tears than I had been since my father died.

"Are any of you Derek Morgan?"

"I...I am," I said, worried now that he was asking for me, alone.

"Could I speak to you, alone?"

I looked back to the rest of the agents, and they nodded that I should go. I walked over to the doctor who had Penelope's blood on his close. I blinked away a few more tears. "Whats wrong? Is she okay?"

"Miss Garcia lost a lot of blood, and we lost her on the table," he said, and my heart nearly stopped. "The bullet richocheted from her shoulder into her abdomen, and-"

"Is she okay?!" I demanded.

"Yes," he said and my heart skipped a beat. My baby girl was alive. I was so relieved. "You may see her. We'll have to monitor her for at least four days." I felt like I needed to give the doctor a hug for saving my baby's life. When he showed me to her room, I went in alone and sat next to her bed, while our friends stayed outside and watched from the window.

"Hey you," I said, as I took her hand and sat in the chair next to her. I watched her sleep for a few minutes before raising her hand to my lips and placing a kiss to it. I just wanted her to wake up.

"Dear God, I don't know why you did this. Perhaps it was your way of punishing me, for not believing or being a complete jerk. But why'd you have to involve her? Was it to teach me a lesson? Still, she didn't do anything. She's completely innocent. I need you to...to bring Penelope back to me, please? Amen." I just decided I needed to do that. It felt like it was the right thing to do, although I doubted it would help any. Penelope was shot, and it was all my fault. If we wouldn't have fought, she wouldn't have gone on that date to spite me.

I looked into Penelope's face for about an hour and a half before I spoke again. "Baby girl, I really need you to wake up, okay?" No response. I lay my head against her hand which was still in both of my hands, and closed my eyes. "I love you, Penelope." I told her, letting tears leak from my eyes and onto the white sheets.

I felt Penelope's hand move and I looked up; I was still in tears when she opened her eyes. "I love you, too, sugar."

Those words melted my heart.


End file.
